Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My Tips on Picking a Good Man

Today, my favorite person is checking the brakes on my car, airing my tires, and picking up toilet paper and dog food, because we are out of both. He's neat like that.

I do not credit myself with the fact that my husband fell in love with me, it was totally a God-thing. That being said, here are my questions to ask when picking a husband. This is not a comprehensive list by any means, just the 'biggies' in my book.

1. If you are a Christian, or play one on TV: Does he love God? If he doesn't, he's out. And notice the question was not: does he go to church? There are lots of non-Jesus-lovers in church. But does he LOVE God? Your dude should love Jesus more than he loves you, and chat with Him daily. You should be able to see this guy leading a Godly house, which includes encouraging you to spend more time with God, and pointing you and any offspring in the right direction repeatedly, in love. Spouses are supposed to help each other be stronger in their faith.

2. Does he take responsibility for his mistakes, and apologize? If your guy can't ever admit he was wrong, stop. Do not pass go. Do not collect a diamond ring. If he is always blaming his boss, the government, his family or you as the root of his dumb or rude actions, that is a bad thing. His boss being an a-hole is not an excuse for him to act like one. Is he willing to apologize when he does something stupid in your relationship? Or does he point out all the stupid things you do, as an excuse? There is nothing more disgusting than a grown man (or woman, for that matter) who is unable to take responsibility for their own actions.

3. Does he love you more than he loves himself? My mom always said a marriage was good when both people in it think that they are the one that got the better deal. Does he cherish you? Does he like being with you? Does he think your inability to cook is cute, your tone-deafness is endearing? Does he let you be you and love it? Are you comfortable being you around this person? This comfortable is not the, "leave the door open when you pee" comfortable. I'm talking about being you, in all your wacky glory.

4. Does he have his crap together? Job, credit score, personal hygiene, lack of addictions, mature relationships with other family members, a strong sense of self, other interests, independence, honesty, generosity, chivalry, sense of humor?

This is by no means the end of the list. Your spouse is the only family you get to choose. Be careful, and pray, pray, pray about it.

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