Tuesday, July 17, 2012

My Pregnant Friend

Last fall, my friend and I did a half-marathon together. Well, she ran it, and finished with an excellent time. I quit on mile 6 because I was so out of shape, a situation that I have since remedied.

My friend and I would go out to dinner and talk about how much we wanted children, and how we felt insecure about ever having them. We would talk to each other about extended family members who were pregnant, and how we felt a bit like failures since we had not produced grand-kids.

She is pregnant now,  and due in August. While I am very happy for her, I can't help but feel a little like I did on that day we did the marathon-- like a loser; like something is wrong with me; like I am getting left behind.

Now, rationally, I know that this is not a race or a competition. We are just in different places in our lives. But when you want something so badly, and you have no guarantee of ever having it.... it can make you have irrational feelings.

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