Questions to Ask Before Having a Baby

Ah, yes. The madness continues unabated.

I read an article on TheBump.com about questions you should ask youself before having a baby. I thought I would answer them here, for your viewing amusement:

1. How many kids do we envision having?

I dont know about my husband, but I think that three would be just about perfect. I came from a family with three kids, and I like the dynamic. Two kids is too few, four kids might be too much. Five is WAY too many.

2. How old is too old to have a baby?

I want to have my first kid before I even turn 29. Holy crap, we need to get crackin'.

3. And how old is too old to have kids in the house?

Can I kick them out before they hit 13?

4. If we got pregnant next month, what would we think? Yay? Yikes??

How about "Yaykes"?

5. Are there things we desperately want to do or accomplish before becoming a trio?

I want to stay home with the babies until they are six months old at least. So, we need to be saving for that. And, I would at least like to be into nursing school when I get pregnant.

6. Who's the first person we'd tell?

I would want to tell my Mom and Dad first, after I passed the first trimester. Then, I would want to tell my sister, and my sister in law. Then, I would want to wait until after the second trimester, and tell everyone else. That way, people have waaaay less time to ask me about the goings on of my uterus. Living hours away from all family has it's benefits sometimes.

7. What lifestyle changes will we need to make when we become parents?

This is the one that I am concerned about. I like driving fast with my music loud and ordering pizza and not folding laundry and sleeping in. Ah, how I love sleep. I also like cussing at people while driving. It calms me down. What if I have to give all that up? What if I stop being me? I dont want to change so much that I dont recognize myself in the mirror.

8. Do daddies (or mommies) do diapers?

Since we are planning on using cloth diapers, I know that I will be the one doing the diaper laundry. But we will both change the diapers. This is only fair. I hate it when I hear stories of Dads waiting until the Mom gets home, so she can change the diaper. Some people think that is hilarious. I think that is selfish bullshit. What about that poor little bumkin who is sitting in his own poo for the extra half an hour? If it is that messy, stick him in the bath and rinse him off. Easy, peasy.

9. Who's going to take care of the kids?

Um, this question confuses me. Obviously, the parents will, right? I mean... is this question referring to daycare? If that is the case, I hope that my Mom moves up near me. If not, I will look into having one of my friends, (a very experienced mother) watch them once or twice a week.

10. What's our response when people ask about baby plans?

I tell them we aren't ready. I still might be saying that when I am eight months pregnant.