Monday, January 4, 2010

Fabulous Fat-Ass No More

Look... if you know me, or if you have been hanging around for any length of time, you know that I am pretty comfortable with me. I like me. I'm intelligent. I have a decent sense of humor, (enough to make me laugh, anyways.) I generally forgive myself for my faults, and try to fix them as I go.

I am maybe TOO comfortable with myself. Which might be why I am about 85 pounds overweight. Yeah, I need to lose a fourth grader. Super.


- A couple years ago, I went to the mall, and had the best luck. Banana Republic, Ann Taylor and J.Crew's clearance sections were full of fabulous things in my size. If you are a big girl, you know that never happens. I was exclaiming to my (very, very thin) friend about my good fortune, and a sales-lady overheard me. She smirked and said, "Yes, that's because we are discontinuing those sizes." (Never mind that she was forty-something and working at the mall. She felt superior.)

But, it is true. There is nothing attractive out there in that size anymore. And I like clothes. Really, I do. I like feeling pretty as much as the next girl. Oh, and I like heels. I used to be able to help carry a drunken friend in four-inch stilettos. Now, I'm all about the flats. (Let's not talk about the time I made Hot Husband drive me to the doctor for foot pain, and the hot female doctor had to try to diplomatically tell me, (in front of HH) that maybe I shouldn't be wearing heels anymore, cause I'm too faaaaaaat.)

- The Hot Husband. People, my husband is very attractive. I have high standards, and I'm not making this up. A couple of friends have honestly asked me how I managed to snag him. (In their defense, I don't think they were trying to be offensive; I think they were wanting to know about my secret mad skillz in bed.) I want to look like I belong with him. I am quite sick of the slightly-confused look on people's faces when we are meeting them for the first time. (Um, this is... who? Your fat, adopted sister that you hang out with a lot, perhaps?)

- The Sex. All you seriously overweight peeps know what I'm talking about here. Positions that used to be part of your repertoire slowly become impossible. There are fewer and fewer angles that you feel comfortable being viewed from. And standing-up shower sex? Fogettaboutit.

- Maybe, babies. I don't know for sure that I want to be a mom. I'm on the fence, going back and forth about things. But, I do know that I will be seriously pissed off if I decide that I want a kid and then can't because I'm too overweight. I do not want to get pregnant at this weight; I think it would be irresponsible to the child, and to myself.


- Weight Watchers Online, and honesty. Honesty is very important when you are doing Weight Watchers. Before, I was always trying to cheat the system. I have now realized that there is no cheating the system... there is only cheating myself.

- Cooking. I love to cook, but I rarely do because the cleanup takes effort and time. But I have a list of healthy, potentially-delicious recipes I would like to try. I was a big fan of the pre-packaged food while I was in school, but the sodium levels in that stuff are cah-razy.

- Wii Fit. I got one (accidentally) for Christmas, and actually like using it. My short-term goal is to burn 100-200 calories a day using it. Not much, but I'm going to start slow and ramp it up.

- Walking, (which will hopefully turn into running,) 2-3 times a week, with HH. We have a beautiful state park with many, many trails two miles down our road. It is time we start using it. And if fitness is going to be a big part of my life, I need to be able to do some of this with my husband.

- The Firm workouts, on days when weather prevents me from walking or running.

- Jillian Michael's 30-day Shred. Ok, I've done this before, and it kicked my ass. Which probably means I should keep doing it, right?

- Following the McFatty Monday crowd's progress on Heir to Blair. I'm rooting for all of us!

I did not mean for this post to become a novel. It just helps me to clarify my goals and reasons in writing. Right now, I can't hardly imagine what life would be 85 pounds lighter, but I am SO excited to find out!


  1. Thanks for commenting on my post! We can totally do this! Good luck this week!!!
    ~ Mel from

  2. Thanks for the comment on my blog! Good luck to you on your weight loss goals, I know we can do it!! Its nice to be able to have a support system, even if we dont know each other. Accountability is a beautiful thing :)


    & dude, I spit water out laughing at "losing a fourth grader." It caused a stern talking-to against the toddler on my ass.

  4. Dude, I feel you. Found your bog via heirtoblair & even though right now I am pregnant- I am a big chick by all standards & plan to get on this weight loss bandwagon. WW works wonders and helped me lose 50+ pounds before baby #1. I will be reading! :)

  5. Thanks ChicChickadee!

    I want to lose the weight for several reasons, one of them is to look hot in a wedding dress, but another is to shop at the Gap I sympathize with your Ann Taylor experience.

    McFatty Monday is looking like the world's most messed up Weight watchers meeting, but we'll lose the weight together!

  6. Thanks for the comments and encouragement, ladies! I'm really looking forward to getting to know the McFatty Monday mavens.