The Inevitable After-Guests Debriefing

This is kinda late, but we had our friends Justin and Lauren and their three kids over last week for the holidays.

"Does it have to be that loud?" I asked my husband with real concern, after our guests had left for the evening. "Does it have to be that way?"

"No, it doesn't." I was kind of surprised by the vehemence in his voice. After all, I had never seen him in this kind of situation, surrounded by the madness of numerous under-twelves in our home. I thought he had been very patient. He had looked unruffled throughout the entire evening.

"So talk to me. Tell me your thoughts." I love a peek inside my husband's brain, and it sounded like he definitely had an opinion about the night's events.

"Well, I know what you mean when you say that Justin isn't very hands-on. I mean, Lauren kept asking him to help out with the kids, and he just stood there. If you made a point to ask me, in front of company, to help out with one of our kids, I would assume that meant you were at the end of your rope. I would step in and discipline. And if the kid started to cry or whatever, I would just take him in the other room."

(Is it weird that I find my husband extremely hot when he talks about equitable division of parenting tasks in regards to our future children?)

"And also..." he continued, "what is with that whole 're-directing' thing? If a kid wants something, and they shouldn't have it, say no. No, you can't have that present. It isn't yours. Don't just try and distract him with something else, without making it clear. And for frick's sakes, be consistent. If you tell a kid 'no', and he keeps asking and asking and asking, and then you give it to him, what does that teach him? It teaches him that if he keeps asking long enough and wears you down, that he will eventually get what he wants."

Be still my heart. I love that man.

Our Christmas, Part One...

Last night, we had my husband's sister, brother-in-law and their four kids over to celebrate Christmas. They have a toddler, and three other kids, aged 7-13. We had a great time, but maaaaaan, that is enough to get you thinking about what it really means to have children.

They are all good kids. The littlest has so much spunk that I think we could solve the energy crisis if we could just learn how to channel it effectively. At the end of the evening, my dogs were looking up at me with big, pleading eyes, as if to say, "Can we keep him? Puh-wease?"

And even though the kid slobbered chocolate all over my velvet couch, I was surprising ok with it. I was also fine when he jumped up and down on my leather ottoman. I was alright when he tried to open my antique secretary by clawing at the drawers, and when he knocked over a couple dining room chairs. I was surprised by how alright I was with it.

In fact, the only thing that really made my heart beat a little faster was when my husband picked him up and was playing with him. Big guy with a giggling kid slung over one arm, on their way outside to play with the dogs? Yep, that looked right somehow. And even though it was nice to have some quiet and a glass of wine after they left, the house did feel a bit emptier once they all filed out the door.

Merry Christmas

I'm wishing you and yours a blessed, lovely, enjoyable holiday today and tomorrow. I hope that you have lots of smiles and excited children around you! And I hope you can avoid the joy-suckers in your family. (Every family has at least one.) If all else fails... hit the nog.

Merry Christmas!

Holy Craptastic Decorations, Batman!

Dude.... (Well, first of all, let's clear the air. I'm from California, and therefore allowed to say, "Dude," whenever I want. I pay higher taxes just for that right, actually.)

As I was saying: Dude... it was scary in Kmart today.

Sadly, Kmart is the best my town has to offer in the way of last-minute Christmas shopping, and my lack of planning forced me to join the hordes of people rummaging through the toy aisles, hoping that maybe behind all the plastic crap in front, there were hidden, high-quality toys that we could give to our loved ones without feeling copious amounts of shame. Alas and alack, this was not the case. Behind the plastic crap was more plastic crap.

So, I gave that up and wandered.... actually no. It was more like bustling. I bustled over to the Christmas decorations and tried to find something to make my house look better. Which, is ridiculous. Cause, c'mon, it's Kmart. But they do have the Martha Stewart line of stuff that usually sucks less. But this year, I am sad to report that even Martha's label could not stop the suck-fest. Everything was ruffled, and they tried to push that light, icy-blue look HARD this year. It was that, and a light purple. Yuckity, yuck, yuck, yuck.

It looked like the sugar plum fairy's ugly older sister had copped a squat in that aisle. Massive Christmas decoration FAIL, to say the least.

Giveaway.... Coming Soon

Hello beloved readers.... (all seven of you.) 2010 is fast approaching, and one of my resolutions is that I use or get rid of all craft supplies that I have already purchased before I allow myself to purchase more. This is where you come in.

I will open up the contest with a post just after the new year. I'm thinking that the giveaway will be a stack of fat quarters, in assorted colors. (Cause that's one of the things I need to get out of my craft stack.)

Is anyone interested? If you know anyone that is... pass it along. I'm hoping to post the giveaway on January 3rd.

LOL...

I just realized that after my last post, the GoogleAds in my sidebar are advertising adult books. Apparently the good folks at Google know what playing the skin flute is.

Aw, giggity.

Reasons For vs Reasons Against...

Now that this school madness is behind me, I can focus on other goals. These goals may or may not include: getting thin, getting knocked up, starting some kind of home-based business, and organizing my house so well that it makes everyone else feel bad about their house. I might also start learning how to do my hair in the morning, but that goal is totally unlikely. Blowing my hair dry makes me cranky. Is it a coincidence that all things called "blowing" actually suck? I think not. (Side note: Did you know that the other kind of "blowing" got it's name because a famous jazz artist way-back-when termed that act, "playing the skin flute"? Betcha didn't.)

Moving on....this past week offered Hot Husband and I some opportunities to think about reasons for and against having kids.

For instance, we went out to dinner with some engaged friends of ours, and they both expressed their passionate conviction about wanting children. Which frankly, made me feel stupid for not having made up my mind yet. I mean, there was no uncertainty there. It was like, yeah... we're totally having kids a year after we get married! And then I was thinking... well... where are the normal doubts? How are you going to pay for daycare? Or stay-at-home-mom-ness? What about autism or schizophrenia?

But they were sure. Maybe they haven't checked out the price of cribs lately?

Then, we went away for the weekend, and there was this couple in the hotel room next door with this little fuzzy rat of a dog. And they let it out of their room, and it ran over and plopped itself on the blanket I was lying on. And the lady said, "Oh Pepper, come here. Get off of there." And while I was politely waiting for the lady to come collect her mutt, the lady sighed and went back into her room, leaving her dog. Hot Husband and I exchanged a WTF glance, and I collected my blanket by yanking it out from underneath the dog, while HH swatted the thing in the head with his (paperback) book.

I pointed out to my husband that some people have kids so they don't end up being the crazy dog people. And he pointed out that we might already BE the crazy dog people, since I'm pretty darn convinced that my dog is smarter than your seven year old brat, so nyah.

Ok, have you all seen the movie, "UP"? If you haven't: do that. If you have: "I HATE squirrels!" I will wait for you to stop chuckling to yourself. I was a wreck during the first five minutes or so of that film. Like... bawling. In the movie theater. Yes, it was one of my finest moments. The point is, I don't want to leave my husband alone. What if I die when we are eighty, and there is no one to take care of him because I was too selfish with my rental space in my uterus?

But then again... I watched a Grey's Anatomy re-run, and it had a dood with mental illness on it. And I'm thinking... is it terrible of me to say that I would prefer to stay childless if I knew my son or daughter would end up mentally disturbed and try and choke me in my sleep? Am I an awful person for saying that I am scared for my children's health, and what implications that health has on me? Is that horrendous for me to think about? And if it is, does that mean that I shouldn't have a kid at all? Does it make me selfish if I only want to change my child's diaper for two years, and not thirty-two years? Am I jinxing myself for even writing this down?